Finding What They Lost
by TheChance10
Summary: True love ment to be? Or True disappointment? Thats where Albus finds himself as he attends Minerva's Wedding. ADMM
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- I don't know what I want to do with this piece. One shot or continue on with the story. Your reviews will help me decide. If there is enough interest I will continue on, for I live to please my readers. Oh by the way Congratulations to me!!! This is my first FFnet story!!! Hope everyone enjoys it!!!**

**His Nightmare **

"I Carrick, take you Minerva Melina McGonagall as the love of my life, as my best friend to someone whom I will never leave your side. I promise you my full devotion, my deepest love and the truest of my affections. I promise to take you in my arms and laugh through our good times and to embrace you even harder in our bad. For without you by my side I could never be complete. I will support you, and help you reach your dreams. For your smile warms my heart and keeps me going. One kiss from you my love is more than one man could ever dream and lets just say my dear that your kisses are more than a dream come true. I love you with my whole heart, and will continue to love you until my last beat is made of my heart that only beats for you. To say that I take you as my wife is an understatement. I take you as my goddess. I goddess who has blessed this undeserving man with her hand in marriage. I love you Minerva Melina McGonagall, I think I always did."

With this he slipped the ring on Minerva's finger and looked deeply in her eyes as he tried to hold back the tears that were surly going to fall as she recited her vows to him.

"I Minerva, choose you Carrick Joseph Gabriel as my best friend, my love for life. I promise you my deepest love, my fullest devotion, my tenderest care, through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future, I promise to be faithful to you..."

_How could she? How could she stand up there today and give herself away to him, while she knows I m sitting her down in the audience? Does she not know the pain she is causing me? Does she not know my heart has shattered into a million pieces. Does she not know what she is going to do to me when she says those two little words "I Do" She is all i ever wanted. She is all I have ever needed and its killing me to be so far away from her. She was supposed to be mine. I told her that one day she would some running back to me and see I am the best man for her. I guess the joke is on me._

"I promise to love you, to commit to you, and support you. I pledge to respect your unique talents and abilities, to lend you strength for all of your dreams. You have shown me what love feels like and for that I thank you. You are everything I need and at this moment I know all of my prayers have been answered and that all of my dreams have come true. I praise Merlin for you Carrick: for all of your love and constant friendship..."

_Where did it all go wrong? I thought she had loved me... I thought all she needed was time, thats what she had said as she kissed me goodbye. _

"I know that our love is heaven sent and I promise to be here forever and always. From this day forward, you shall not walk alone. My heart will be your shelter and my arms will be your home. As I have given you my hand to hold, I give you my life to keep."

With this she slipped the ring on his finger and at the same time they both looked at the minister in anticipation from him to declare what they both wanted to hear. "I know Pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride." With this the teary groom reached up and whipped the falling tears from his beautiful bride and lean into a very passionate kiss. She was now his, he was no hers, who couldn't be happier for them.

_I can't look anymore. I can't be here and pretend I am happy for the newly married couple. I thought I could do it for Minerva but I cannot. I don't know why I ever thought I could. I don't know why she ever thought I could. How could she think I would find pleasure in seeing her marry another man. She had broken his heart enough times already. She seemed to re-break it every time he thought he would be able to forget and move on with his life. He was sure that he would never recover from this. He could recover from some gentle soft touches they shared that reminded him of how it used to be, but now things were different. She was different. Every time he would look at her he would know that he had lost his chance, lost his love to another man, and that was something Albus knew he could not live with. At least not for now. As he went to leave he turn back like a fool and caught Minerva's eye. She looked at him with those beautiful eyes that had caused him to fall in love with her so long ago, he shook his head and mouthed he was sorry. With this he took his leave not looking back again, he was to afraid to see what he was leaving behind. _


	2. Reception

**Reception **

"Minerva my dear what is wrong?" Carrick asked questioningly to his new wife. This was supposed to be the experience of her life. She was supposed to be all smiles and laughter and yet she had barely touched her dinner and was staring off into space as if she was in the deepest of thoughts. Carrick's voice brought her back to reality.

"What are you talking about? I'm fine, and what have I told you about calling me "my dear" you know that I don't like that."

"Well it's just that you have barely touched your food and you have this look of sheer pain on your face. I'm worried about you. Are you having second thoughts already?"

"No, no, of course I am not having second thoughts… it's just I wish…" She knew deep down in her heart the answer to that question. She wanted Albus to be here. She knew that she had hurt him dearly and by hurting him she had hurt herself. She always had pictured herself marrying him one day. Not Carrick, but as she quickly found out things do not always work out how she would wish them to. "you know what never mind." Minerva grabbed Carrick's hand and brought it to her lips and kissed it. She didn't want to hurt him and let him know that she wanted her ex lover to be here. No she would never do that to him.

"Well Minerva it's almost time to cut to cut the cake. Have you finished your dinner?" Minerva looked down at her plate and nodded her head. As soon as she had nodded her head Carrick raised his hand and vanished them away. Minerva knew that it was time to move on with her life. She had wasted too many days wishing for Albus to come case after her. To take her in his arms and tell her that he would never let go again, but as much as Minerva wished that day never came. So why not today be the day that she forget Albus Dumbledore and move on with life. She was about to start her new life of with Carrick, why should she worry about Albus. He was a grown wizard and was fully capable to make his own decisions. With this thought in mind Minerva raised from her seat grabbed Carrick's hand and together they made their way over to the cake.

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"What are you doing you fool? Minerva asked you to be at her wedding and you run away like a child. You should be happy for her. She is in love with a wizard that will always be by her side. You knew that a day would come when she would move on with her life and write you off like another chapter in her life. Why most you be so selfish and not grant her this one wish and go to her wedding reception? After all you have put her through, she deserves this from you. She obviously wanted you to be there for her. She wants your approval. Don't you see that?"

Armando Dippet was one of Albus oldest and dearest friends. He had known of everything that had gone on between those two. He had always known Albus true feelings for the young witch even before he had realized them for himself.

"Armando please, I already feel like a fool. I left the alter, right after it was official. Right after they had kissed, and if that isn't bad enough when I was leaving I turned and looked at her one more time and of course in that moment she had to look at me. I feel ashamed that I am not man enough to be able to watch her find happiness in her life, it hurts me too much to stand there and put a fake smile on my face and act as if everything is fine. That I don't care that she is married to another man. She knows that I wanted to be the man she married she knows that I will never be able to give my heart to another women. She knows all of this and yet she still asks me to attend her wedding. Old friend I did the best I could. My heart can only take so much beating in one day."

Abus looked up at Armando, he had tears on the rims of his eyes, but Armando knew that Albus would not let them fall. Armando had always felt sorry for his dear friend. He had the weight of the wizarding world on his shoulders with no one else to help him carry his burden. He always was the man that could never show anyone his weaknesses, because everyone had always looked to him for strength. No Albus would not cry, but Armando understood how much pain his friend was in.

"Albus, I understand your pain of losing her as your lover, I can see the pain that she has inflicted on your heart, but will your heart be able to survive losing her again? Not as your lover, but is it going to be able to stand the idea of losing her forever? Can you stand the idea of losing her as your friend?"

"Why would you say I have lost her as a friend? She knows that is all I have left to hang on to. She knows that is the only thing keeping me sane in these terrible times. Why would you say she would do that to me?" Albus looked puzzled over at his friend. He didn't understand where he was going with this.

"You know for all your brilliance, sometimes you miss the most simplest of things. You will lose her as a friend if you are not able to accept her relationship with Carrick. He is now her husband and best friend. She will always choose him over you know. Minerva is no longer single. She is bond to someone, and if you cannot accept that you are going to lose her completely."

"Maybe it is best that I leave her alone, maybe it's time for me to disappear out of her life. Thank you Armando for your support but I would like to be alone right now. I have much to prepare for."

"Ok old friend, but do not do anything that you might regret. I hate to see you in pain."

Albus looked up and gave his friend a weak smile. "You know Armando better than anyone else that any day without Minerva in it is a day of pain for me."

Armando nodded his head and left the room. Albus watched the door shut and let his held back tears fall freely to the floor. He had lost her for good. He knew this. That is why he had made his decision to go after Grindelwald. He wanted to make this world safe for Minerva, even if he was not to be included in her life. Maybe one day later on in their lives they would become friends again. Maybe one day.

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Its been a long time i know but i hope you like the update. Review please! :)


	3. Saying Goodbye

**A/M: In my story Albus is only 20 years Minerva's senior. My story my rules! :)**

**Saying Goodbye**

It had been fifteen minutes since Armando had left the room and Albus was already growing restless. He wanted to be there for Minerva. Show her that no matter what he will always love her and be her biggest supporter. Yes Albus wanted to be able to do this for Minerva but he seriously doubted that he could.

"What is wrong with you?" Albus asked himself aloud. "She wants you there, Merlin only knows why, but none the less she wants you there. You have already lost everything. What more do you have to lose?" With this in mind Albus Dumbledore gathered all of his strength and courage and made his way to Minerva's reception. He doubted that he would be able to stay long, but being there for her a little bit was better than not being there at all.

"And now our Newly Weds would like you to join them on the dance floor and really start their marriage off on the right foot. Cut a rug everyone!"

Carrick was sitting in the corner staring at his wife trying to pretend that he was listening to what his new in-laws had to say about how happy and pleased they are for Minerva and Him. The one thing that he would never be able to figure out is how Albus just let her go. Granted he knew there was more to the story then Minerva let on, but still any man would be crazy to let Minerva, his goddess, slip through their fingers. He knew that Albus was a very brilliant and accomplished wizard, but still with all that brilliance he still wasn't able to figure out a way to win her back. Carrick shock his head, he did feel sorry for him. He could see the love in his eyes when Minerva was near him. Minerva and Carrick had known each other for a very long time. They attended Hogwarts together, same year, only he was a Ravenclaw and she was a Gryffindor. Of course she was a Gryffindor. They were close friends in school. They both were prefects, and in their last year he was Head Boy and she was Head Girl. They spent many nights strolling the halls together. Talking about many things, like what they wanted to be when they grew up, if they wanted family, things like that. Carrick had known for as long as he could remember that he was in love with Minerva. Just as Carrick excused himself from his in-laws to go dance with his bride when he noticed that the door to their party had opened and none other than Albus Dumbledore was standing in the door way. _So he decided to show up. Good for him. I know it will mean a lot to Minerva. _Carrick thought as he was pulled into another conversation with his mother and father.

Minerva was dancing with the Allan, the best man when she felt Albus around her. No not physically around her but she could feel his magic. She knew that he was somewhere in the room. He had come to the reception after all. She thanked Allan for the wonderful dance and excused herself from him. She wanted to find him, thank him for coming; she knew this would be hard for him. If he was to get married to another woman it would be hard for her as well. It didn't matter that she was married to another man she would always love Albus no matter what. Just as she turned around to go find him, none other than Albus Dumbledore was standing there right behind her. He had a smile on his face but it did not reach his eyes. No his eyes were filed with sadness and Minerva knew she was the cause of it.

"I didn't think you would come." Minerva told him honestly looking down at the floor. She was not able to look the man in the eyes. She never liked it when he was sad.

"Well my dear that makes two of us, May I have this dance?"

"Yes of course," Albus offered his arm out towards Minerva which she quickly took. As they began to dance their song came on. When I saw you.

"Oh, Albus I'm so sorry, I didn't realize this song was in the playlist."

"My dear it is fine, it's just ironic. Out of all the songs it was this song that had to come on when we danced. Merlin must have it out for me." Minerva smiled into his shoulder. That is what she always loved about him. He was always able to turn a bad situation into a joke.

"I'm happy you came, you must think of me as selfish for asking you to come. Well it probably is but I still appreciate it. I don't know if I would be able to if I was in your shoes."

"Oh my dear I would do anything for you, and don't worry about what you would do if you were in my shoes. My heart belongs to one woman, and sadly she doesn't return my feelings." Minerva tried to interrupt to tell him that she loved him, that she always would but Albus put his finger over her lips so she could not say a word. "But today is not about me and my happiness, it is about yours. Are you happy?"

"Yes, I am"

"Well then that is all that matters. Don't you worry about this old fool."

"Will you stop calling yourself old, you are nowhere near old."

"I am older then you."

"You are only 20 years my senior, plus in wizarding years that is only about 5 years older. So if you are old then I must be to."

"None sense Minerva you are the picture of youth."

"As are you, no stop and enjoy our dance."

"Yes mam, I've never been one not to listen to a beautiful witch, and today I do not plan to start. By the way Minerva did I tell you that you look beautiful? Carrick is one lucky man."

"Thank you Albus, you've always been so full of complements."

"What can I say, with beauty like yours, it's hard not to hand out complements, plus I've always liked how you blush after everyone I ever gave you. It's like you didn't know you were beautiful and it was the first time someone had ever told you. Such a modest woman you are."

As they danced they both feel into old memories of how it used to be only to be interrupted by Carrick himself, the one man that will always stand between Albus and Minerva.

"May I steal my beautiful wife away from you?"

"Well I would consider you a fool if you didn't"

"Hold on Carrick let me talk to Albus for a few more minutes and then I'm yours for the rest of the night."

As Carrick turned and walked away Albus was puzzled to what she needed to tell him. Especially something that couldn't wait to be told later.

"Albus I want to tell you that I will always love you not matter what. You were always the man that I planned on marrying." Albus tried to interrupt but Minerva kept on going, "Please listen to me when I saw that if you ever need anything I am always just an owl away. Even though I am married to Carrick now, you will always come first. I love you, our timing was just off."

"My dear I am flattered, but I should not come over your husband. He loves you very deeply I can tell by the way he looks at you."

"Like the way you look at me."

"It's still that noticeable?"

"Very"

"Well I need to work on that, anyway I'm afraid my dear this will be the last you see or hear from me in awhile. Please promise me to be safe. I don't know what I would do if anything bad were to happen to you."

"I promise, but you must promise me as well. Where are you going"

"I will do the best I can to keep your promise, but don't worry about where I'm going, go to Carrick, and enjoy your night and life together. I've been selfish and kept you to myself for too long. Goodbye my dear." With this Albus raised Minerva's hand to his face and left a kiss on there then leaned in and kissed her check, before he pulled back all the way he whispered in her ear, "Forever you will be the keeper of my heart. Stay safe Minerva. I love you." With this Albus turned and headed for the door. He couldn't turn around because Minerva was sure to be watching him and he didn't want to ruin her day by letting her see the tears in his eyes.

As Albus reached the door Minerva whispered I love you too, she knew he heard her. He always did.

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Hope you enjoy the update. Please review to tell me what you think!


	4. Letters

A/N THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS

**Letters**

Dear Minerva,

I must apologize in how long it's been since I wrote you last, but alas this old man doesn't have the time in his life. I've been good, and how about yourself? How is your new flat? I hear Carrick surprised you with it when you guys came back from your honey moon. When I'm away from this war I will have to stop by and look at your beautiful flat. That is of course if I am invited. Well my dear as much as I would love to ramble on I do not have the time. Who knew war makes everything difficult? I am pleased to say that I have been able to keep your promise thus far; I dare say that you have been able to keep mine. Looking forward to your next letter.

Yours Always,

Albus

Minerva had reread the letter six times before she was able to decide that she was going to write him back. She was in a tough spot. She was recently married to her husband Carrick, but yet she was still deeply in love with Albus. She was just starting to accept that maybe she always would. The only concern Minerva had been to never to act on her feelings for him. This should never be a problem because Minerva and Albus rarely saw each other and when they did Albus was the picture of a gentleman. She never understood how he had so much self control, but then again there were many things she did not understand about the man. With this in mind see summoned a piece of paper and her favorite pen and began to write her response back to Albus.

Dear Albus,

I'm glad to hear that you have been able to keep my promise thus far. I don't want to fathom what I would do if I learned that you would be forever missing from our world. So again I say please stay safe. Albus you make me laugh sometimes when you doubt that you would be uninvited into my, I mean Carrick and my new flat. It is much like our old one if that gives you any indications of what it looks like. I miss you dearly old friend. Hurry back to me. There is something that I wish to tell you. I think I made a mistake. You know what never mind you have much on your plate right now and I don't wish to add to them. Carrick and I wish to join the war. Before you have any objections please know that we have both talked about it and we both agree that we believe we would be a great help to the war. So please before you say no, just think about it. You know that if you tell me no that I will find a way into this war. With or without you knowing. So you make your choice Albus Dumbledore. Anyway looking forward to hearing from you again.

Yours Truly,

Minerva

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It was mid day when Albus saw the familiar owl fly across the horizon to deliver the letter that Minerva had written him. He loved Minerva dearly, there was no denying that, but he was starting to wonder if there letters back and forth was healthy for either of them. He had tried to delay his response as much as he could but within a day of his response Minerva's owl Jeffery was there. He only hoped that his heart would be able to hold on, because the thought of losing Minerva in any sort of way would simply push him over the edge. With this in mind Albus grabbed some owl treats and fed Jeffery, whilst opening the response from Minerva.

_"Carrick and I wish to join the war. Before you have any objections please know that we have both talked about it and we both agree that we believe we would be a great help to the war. So please before you say no, just think about it. You know that if you tell me no that I will find a way into this war. With or without you knowing. So you make your choice Albus Dumbledore"_ Albus couldn't believe it. He didn't believe what he was seeing. How had Carrick actually agreed to put Minerva in harm's way? Minerva was a very persuasive woman and most of the time got what she wanted but to allow her this, this wish to join this brutal war was beyond Albus. He began to panic, there had to be a way for him to talk her out of the war. Maybe if she saw where he was coming from she would understand. Yes Albus would write to her right away. This idea of hers had to be stopped right in their tracks.

Minerva,

Please tell me you are joking.

I am able to slip away from the war tomorrow. Please meet me at Emeralds Lake at noon.

Albus

Satisfied with his letter he tied the letter to Jeffery's leg and sent him on his way. He knew that the outcome of tomorrow was going to be a mystery but he knew that he would do all that he could to convince Minerva that the war was not a place for her to be. Carrick could join for all that he cared but not his Minerva. No she was much too important to Albus. Selfish it might be, but Albus knew deep in his heart that in the end it would be the best way of keeping Minerva out of harm's way.

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Short i know but the next chapter will be a long one i promise!


	5. The Truth Comes Out

**The Truth Comes Out**

Lost in his own thoughts he was caught up in many memories that he had shared with Minerva at Emeralds Lake. That wasn't the actual name of the lake but Albus had named it that because the way that the green grass reflected off the lake it had reminded him of Minerva's eyes. Oh how he could get lost in those eyes. They were the one way he was always able to tell the mood that Minerva was in or if something was troubling her. This was another reason why he had decided that the lake's names should be Emeralds Lake because Albus knew that when she was here with him any question he asked her he would get the truth. He didn't know why but there was no way to lie at this lake. He knew this because Minerva and him had tested out there theory many years ago and came up with the conclusion that it was impossible to lie. Something Albus planned on taking advantage of today. He was worried though; there were new restrictions on their relationship now. There were something's that he should simply not know now because Minerva was married off no longer his. He was going to try and avoid the questions that he wished to ask her the most. The questions that he knew would cause trouble if he knew the truthful answer behind them. As Albus began to question why he had requested Minerva to meet him here of all places he heard a faint pop and within seconds he felt Minerva's presence around him. Getting up from the ground to greet Minerva he felt his voice caught up in his throat. His memories of how she looked did not serve her any justice by the way she looked right now.

Minerva couldn't believe how different he looked. His long hair was gone; he had cut it to look like how the muggle men wore their hair, short on the sides and a little bit longer on the top. She also couldn't get over the fact that he had cut his beard off as well. All that was left was little stubbles, but even with all of these changes Albus couldn't look any better. Living with another man had made her forget just how handsome Albus truly was. Trying to shake her shock aside at his new looks she greeted him with a intend kiss on the cheek that had ended up on his lips because Albus had planned to kiss her cheek as well and had moved his head to meet her lips full on at the worst possible moment in time. As their lips met one another the thought that ran through Minerva's head "God I forgot how sweet his kisses taste, wait I'm married! I shouldn't be kissing him" with this she pulled back and whispered "Sorry" Albus still at a loss for words nodded his head and took her hand and lead them to their favorite bench. This was going to be a long day, Minerva knew but she doubted that she would mind.

Albus finally finding his voice again said to Minerva, "Sorry about that my dear, it looks like we both had the same thing in mind but went to different directions."

"Oh its fine, I know that it was an honest mistake, because we both know that it is truly impossible to lie here." Minerva was hit with an old memory of them here, something that they had done on this bench. Albus and her were watching the sunset when he began to whisper terms of endearment in her ear that had cause them to become very intimate with each other. At that moment in time Minerva was very pleased that she was a witch because making love to Albus on the sand did not appeal to her very much, she thank Merlin that she was able to transform the bench into a comfortable bed at the time. Minerva was pulled from her memories when she heard Albus voice, "My dear are you alright?"

"Yes, I was just caught up in an old memory of us here."

Albus flinched this was exactly the conversation that he was hoping to avoid. "Yes we do have many memories here; it doesn't surprise me that you have started to wander down memory lane, whilst you are here with me"

Minerva looked up at Albus and his twinkling blue eyes. There was so much that she had always wished to discuss with him, so many things that she wanted the truthful answers to. Minerva had all day with him, but was she brave enough to ask the true questions of her heart, she was just going to have to wait and see. "Have any old memories hit you?"

"Yes, in fact your presence was the only thing that pulled me out of them."

"Ah I see, there are so many wonderful memories here, it's like every where I look I could be reminded of a wonderful memory with you. Then again there is one place that if I look at both happy memories pop to mind and also one very bad one that I am afraid I will never be able to get over."

Albus knew what she was talking about, across the lake there was a dock, this dock held the one memory that haunted Albus, this was the place that Minerva had to decide to leave him for Carrick. No matter how hard Albus tried he was never able to block out this painful memory. "Yes, I seem to remember very clearly what memory pops to mind" Minerva had looked up at him when he began to speak, his eyes had lost their twinkle, and for a split second Minerva was able to see just how much pain he was trying to hide for her in that moment. Without even thinking she asked the question that popped into her mind. "I really hurt you didn't I?"

Albus looked down from her gaze when she asked her question. Albus wasn't ready to tell her how much pain she had inflicted, how bad it still hurt every day, but alas he knew he could not lie, he would never lie to Minerva, she was far to deserving of the truth. With this he met her gaze once more an answered her question, "Yes, I fear far more then you will ever know."

"I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you, and I never planned on telling you here, not at a place that held so many special memories for us."

"Well I guess in its own category it is a special memory, for you because you were finally able to find true happiness in someone, for me a reminder that we must cherish what we hold dear to our hearts, for we never know when they will be taken away from us." Albus looked her straight in the eyes he was trying to gage her reaction to what he just said but as soon as he looked up at her she looked down. He knew Minerva was like him, wasn't ready to fully accept the fact of what had split them apart.

"Why did you ask me here in the first place that day, we had been fighting for weeks, what would make you ask me here of all places that night."

Albus began to feel the cold sweet drip down his neck as she asked her question. There was one thing that Minerva never knew about that painful day. Even though they had been fighting no stop for a couple of weeks he knew that she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He had gone out that morning and bought her a ring. He had planned to bring her here and make her realize that all there fighting was not worth the love that they shared. He had planned for that night to make her fall back in love with him all over again and then proclaim his undying then drop down on one knee and ask her to become his wife. "Trust me when I say you don't want to know Minerva, it will hurt you."

"I will be fine Albus just tell me"

Albus looked at her gravely and then answered her question, "I had bought a ring, and I had planned on proposing. I figured that this would be the best spot to proclaim my love for you and ask you to be my wife. Funny how things work out."

A/N Hope you enjoyed this chapter !!!! Let me know what you think so far!


	6. The Missing Twinkle

**A/N : Special shootout to sevy MADD! Thanks for reviewing all my chapters thus far!!!**

**The Missing Twinkle**

Minerva was stunned, no more than that she was ashamed. In those weeks that her an Albus had been fighting she had been secretly seeing Carrick. At that point in her life she figured that this relationship between her and Albus would not work out so she figured there would be no harm in starting to see another man behind Albus back. She had become so caught up in trying to figure out the next time she would see Carrick she didn't notice how hard Albus was trying to make things work between them. In those weeks leading up to their break up her must have never looked him in his eyes. For his eyes always held the truth, if she would had looked deep enough she would had seen that all she would ever need in her life was staring right back at her. Minerva didn't know what to do. Albus deserved the truth, but then again she didn't want to hurt him anymore then she already had. So that's when she decided the only time she would reveal what had happened in those last weeks of their relationship was if Albus asked her directly.

There was always one thing that had puzzled Albus, why she didn't put any effort into their relationship the last few weeks. It was almost if she had been seeing another man. Albus shook his head at this thought, even if Minerva had not been there emotionally she would never put him through an affair with another man. He had thought that she loved him more than that; no he had thought she respected him more than that. He was in for the surprise of his life with the answer he was about to receive when he asked his next question.

"Minerva there was always on thing I've wanted to know. Why did you not try to fix our relationship, it was as if you were physically there the last couple of weeks, but not emotionally. What went so wrong to make you stop caring about you and me?" Minerva felt as if her heart had just been ripped out of her chest. She always had wanted to tell Albus the whole truth about what had happened in those last weeks leading up to their break up but she never had the heart to do it. Albus deserved the truth, she knew this but she also wanted to protect and shield him from the hurt that she was bound to cause when she revealed the secret that had been lying heavily on her heart. Without evening realizing it she began to cry.

"Oh my dear my Minerva there is no reason to cry, what's done is done, the pain has already been inflicted I just need to know the whole truth. I fear I will not be able to move on with my life if you are not able to tell me what happened. Where I went wrong." With this Albus reached his hand up and wiped away her falling tears, and in one quick moment he had his arms around her tightly letting her cry into his shoulder. He had no idea what was about to come but he figured it must be bad since Minerva had let her guard down and cried in front of him.

Once Minerva was able to regain her self control she pulled away from his embrace and looked him in his eyes. His eyes had been the first thing she had fallen in love with when she was a mere student of his. How could anyone not, the brightest blue you've ever seen and how they made you feel as if he could see through you, but how could anyone forget his famous twinkle. The twinkle that she had been so proud to know that she was the cause of it so long ago, but yet as she looked him in his eyes it was there. Twinkling at her like they had gone back in time and Minerva had not made the biggest mistake of her life.

"Are you ok? You worry me my dear Minerva when you cry like that, and I don't even know the reason for your tears. Please tell me the reason of your sorrow."

Minerva took a deep breath; she knew that after she told him everything would change. She knew this, but yet she knew she could not deny him of the truth any longer. Still not saying anything she leaned in a kissed him on the lips, but this time she didn't do it on accident. At first he had tensed up but in mere seconds he had responded and kissed her back. He pulled away to look in her eyes, he saw nothing but sorrow and confusion but as soon as he went to ask her what was the reason for her kiss she put her hand on his mouth and shook her head.

"Albus I fear that after I tell you what I need to tell you, you will never feel the same about me. You will not be able to look at me, talk, think, or even be near me. I never had meant to hurt you, I trust you know that." With an apprehensive nod from Albus she continued. "In those last few weeks I lost myself, I was scared of losing you and so I turned to someone I had known for a long time for advice. He took me in that night you and I had our first terrible fight, and a few drinks later we started a terrible thing. I had tried to stop, to tell myself that this wasn't what I wanted but as our fights kept recurring I became more and more detached to our relationship and started to fall for him. Carrick is the reason why I our relationship ended.

Albus felt as if he had just been hit with the strongest spell alive, he couldn't breathe. His Minerva had an affair on him. Granted she was married to him now, but to know now that he had driven her to him with their first huge fight. He had knew that she had not come home that night but when she returned in the morning she found a dozen of roses and a note saying I'm sorry. He had no idea that that night he had lost his true love forever. Albus got up from the bench, Minerva was right he didn't want to be anywhere near her. As he kept thinking about it he became very angry with her.

"Look at me" He demanded but when her head stayed looking down towards her feet, he knew she would not look at him. He walked over towards her and gently pushed Minerva's chin up so she would look him in the eyes. Minerva could see the tears starting to well up in his eyes, the tears that he was trying so hard to hold back. His eyes had been twinkling before but now they had lost their twinkle and been replaced with hurt and sorrow, that he did not try and hide from her. She knew the next question that was about to come.

"Did you sleep with him while you were still with me?"

In less than a whisper Minerva replied yes, and seconds later she heard a pop letting her know that Albus had left. He had left her for good and it was all her fault. The emotions started to crash down on her and she began to weep uncontrollable sobs, the only difference being this time Albus was not there to wipe away her fallen tears. No he would never be there again to comfort Minerva. She never expected him to again.

Thanks for all of you who are reading this FIC. I hope you are enjoying it thus far!!


	7. The Gentle Touch

**The Gentle Touch**

_Mrs. McGonagal-Gabriel_

_I trust you know that I no longer care what you choose to do on the matter of joining the war or not. You and your husband have made many stupid decisions in the past might as well add another to the list. I am however going to add your husband to my special force group. He will be receiving his letter shortly to tell him of the location of where to meet me and how long he should expect to be gone. You however will be assigned to a desk. If you shall choose not to work the desk job that I have assigned you will not have an opportunity in the future to go on an expeditions with one of my leaders. Take it or leave it. Good Luck to you and your family. Merlin knows your going to need it._

_Sir Albus P.W.B. Dumbledore._

Minerva had tears in her eyes. It had been a month since she had told Albus of the affair and no matter how she had tried to communicate with him, to offer her apologizes he simply ignored her. Had made her feel as if she was invisible in this world. For such a caring man he had shown none of his kind ways towards her during this past month, but how could she expect anything different. Albus was her best friend. There was not a single person who didn't know that. She had been referred to many times as Albus right hand. So when reading over this she couldn't help but wonder why Albus choose her husband over her to join his special task for and of all the horrible things that he could had done he assigned her to a damn desk. A desk job. Minerva cringed at the thought. She had been an auror for Merlins sake!!! Then it hit her. This was his way of revenge. He knew how much Minerva wanted to be apart of the war so by putting her at a desk job she was technically helping out in war efforts but as far away from the battle field as he could get her. Frustrated with him she decided that she would play along in his little plan but she knew sooner or later he would come find her and ask her for her help. At least she hoped he would.

---

One year later.

The war was starting to get away from them and Albus knew it. They would maybe have two three months to finish this war before the light lost any chance of over throwing the dark. With this in mind he knew it was time to go off and find Minerva. Her skills were unimaginable and there was not one witch or wizard he thought she couldn't handle. He hadn't spoken to her since the day at Emeralds lake. Minerva had tried and tried to speak with him, but after a few months of Albus sending Jeffery away with her letter unopened she got the hint. It had taken all of his will power to keep turning Jeffery away but some how he made it through. They both had made it through. That was all that mattered. Albus was now dating Annile. She had been assigned to his task force and after two chess matches one night he found himself naked and tangled in another, who was also naked. He didn't quiet remember how it happened but being the gentleman he was he decided to begin to court her, and somewhere along the way he fell in love, or at least he thought. He had known right away with Minerva. As soon as he met her eyes she had captured his heart. With Annile he figured that the love was there he just needed to give it sometime.

It hadnt taken long to find her. He heard her voice yelling at someone about how useless they were. Albus always found it amusing when she lost her temper, but it didn't matter what he thought anymore. He had followed her voice back to her office and found himself face to face with the door that was separating them.

_"Come on you can do this. You are her to recruit her for your special task force. Not to ask her on a date, pull yourself together."_Albus thought. With this he knocked on her door.

"_It couldn't be. Could it? I'm most be hearing things because that sounds like Albus knocking at the door." _Minerva made her way over to her door to find herself become face to face with a man that she had caused much pain for.

"Hello" Albus offered her a simple smile. The smile however did not make it to his eyes.

"Albus, to say I am surprised would be an understatement. To what do I owe you the pleasure."

"Ah Mrs. McGonagal-Gabriel I have come to seek you out to come join your husband and I. I am of course talking about my special task force. Your skills are unmatched and I believe you would be a great add. If you so shall choose."

"Why are you calling me Mrs. McGonagal-Gabriel?"

"Why would I call you anything besides your name. I had hopped one day for your name to be somewhat different, but I have moved on from those types of thoughts."

"Ah yes, you and Annile. She's beautiful, I am happy for you." Minerva tried to offer up a smile but as Albus' smile earlier it didn't reach her eyes either.

"Thank you. You and Carrick? How are things there?"

"Ah its going, we have been fighting a lot. War brings out the worst in us I fear." Minerva knew that was the understatement of the year. Two months earlier she had found Carrick in bed with another women. Carrick had said that he didn't know what he was doing that she was the only one for him. That he would do anything, anything to get her back, to have her trust him and love him again. So Minerva had taken him back, she was trying to work it out.

"Yes, yes it does. I heard about the infiedlity. Hurts doesnt it?"

Minerva grimaced. He knew. The one person that she was hopping didn't find out, had. Worst of all he was bringing up their last fateful day together. "Yes. yes it does, but I always knew it hurt. It hurts to be the one who does it to the person you love as well. There is pain on both sides."

Albus was growing tired of there awkward conversation. It used to be so easy for them to converse and now it seemed like a task. "Minerva" Albus reached his hand up and brushed her check with the back of his hand. When he felt her lean into his touch he whispered. "I have missed you. Please join my team. I cannot stand being so far away from you. I can keep you safe, you wouldn't have to worry. I will be there."

Minerva was about to reply when she heard another familiar knock and stepped back. The moment was lost. She looked at Albus with sad eyes and said she would join and before she was able to say anything more he had gone. When she reached the door to open it for her husband, the faint pop was all she needed to hear to know that Albus had once again left her, hurt and confused. It was like a last year all over again, but this time she at least knew that she would see him. And for know that would be enough.

ITS BEEN A LONG TIME I KNOW. REVIEWS ARE APPRECIATED


	8. Time Moves Forward

" You are not joining and that's final." Carrick told his wife very sternly

"Hate to break this to you but actually I can and already have. Albus needs me and I'll be damned if I don't help him out. You are not helping yourself gain my trust back. Remember you were the one who cheated on me. You are lucky I took you back." Minerva was livid with her husband. He actually thought that he could tell her no.

"Here we go again with the fidelty. If you want to leave go ahead, but if you want to fix our marriage stop hanging it over my fucking head all the time. Yes I cheated. Yes it was a huge mistake but if your never going to let it go why even waste our time in fixing our marriage."

"You should leave. I can't deal with you right now, maybe it was wrong to take you back. You aren't sorry you did it. By the looks of it you don't even care."

"If I didn't care what would I be doing here. Hmm? Merlin Minerva I love you but sometimes you look at the picture very differently then it is supposed to be percieved. My dear listen, I will leave tonight but first we need to resolve our fight."

"What have I told you about calling me my dear. "

"Oh yes I'm sorry, I'm sorry im not Albus. Merlin knows that is where you heart resides. In that mans chest. Hate to break it to you Minerva. He has moved on. " Carrick knew by Minerva's facial expressions that he had found out the heart of their issue. Albus.

"This has nothing to do with him."

"No I think this has everything to do with him. I finally have figured it out why you did the desk job. It's because he assigned it to you. Now I see why you are joining our team. It's because he will be there. Your pathetic Minerva. You cheated on him and yet your still in love with him. Why even marry me then."

"I question that everyday. I think its time for you to leave. I will see you at the meet up point tomorrow. Goodnight Carrick." With this Minerva trned on her heals and made her way to their bedroom. They had been fighting a lot lately but this was by far the worst of all.

* * *

"Albus I have a question." Annile was beginning to get worried. Ever since she learned that Albus had asked Minerva over herself to join his team. On the day that he told her he was going to recruit one of his old friends to join his team Minerva hadn't even cross her mind. All that she was really thinking about that day was her and Albus date when he got back. She knew that she was quickly falling for this man but sometimes she feared that he was not falling for her as fast as she was for him. She always had the pestering thought in the back of her mind that she tecqnically was only Albus rebound girl. Sure it had been a long while since he and Minerva split but Annile could't help but get the feeling that her thoughts were true.

Albus looked up from the Daily Prophet that he was currently reading and looked at his beautiful lass. "Whatever is the matter my dear?"

"Why her?"

Albus was puzzeled by her question and surley showed it in his face. Who in the world was she talking about, what was she even talking about? "My dear I'm afraid you've lost me. Who and what are we talking about?"

"Minerva." Annile felt that was turely the only thing that she need to say.

Realization dawned on Albus. His beautiful Annile was jealous that he had asked Minerva over herself to join his team. "My dear please come here." With this Albus pushed back his chair and set the Daily Prophet on the table and opened his arms to his lass. She came quickly wrapping her arms around the man and straddling him so that they were very close and face to face. Annile felt very foolish at this point but she didn't care as she let on single tear roll down her face only to have Albus hand wipe it away. "Why the tears my beautiful lass?"

"Well I feel sometimes that I am just your rebound girl. That you will never love me the way that you loved her, and do not try and tell me that you didn't love her a lot, because I heard stories about you two and your famous love for one another. Albus I am falling very fast for you, and if your not going to be here to catch me please let me go. I am not strong enough to leave on my own." With this another few tears rolled down her face.

"Annile Annile Annile. What can I do to make you see that I am falling for you as well. It's been a long while since someone has caught my attention like you have. I did not even think that you would want to join my team. You know all about the dark and dangerous things that we endevor. Plus why would I want to put my lass in harms way. I fear I may fall apart if I learned something happened to you."

Annile's heart soared at the words of enderment that Albus was saying to her, but she still needed to get the rest of her fears off her chest. "Do not take this the wrong way but with the love that you two shared it wouldn't take much for you to fall right back in love with one another. Especially since I would not be there and with her current marrital problems. I would not have a problem with her joinning your team as long as I would be able to be there as well."

Albus thought for a moment. True he saw the point in her words. He had almost kissed Minerva the second he saw her. He was trying to move on with his life as Minerva had and right at the moment that included Annile. "What's one more person. Of course you can join. That way I never have to be away from you." Albus kissed her nose and rest his forehead against hers.

"Thank you. Now if you excuse me I have somethings to take care of. We are leaving tomorrow!!!" With this Annile got off of Albus lap and made her way out the door. Seconds after the door closed Albus heard a pop letting him know that she had gone. He knew that this wasn't the smartest idea but how could he tell her no. He just hopped he would be able to keep his attention on Annile and not Minerva. Oh Minerva what are we getting ourselves into. With this thought in mind he got up and set off to do the last minute things before they set off tomorrow.

SOOO I hope you liked the update. I know there rubbish but at least there something!!!


	9. 9 O'Clock Meeting

**9 O'Clock Meeting**

Carrick was worried, no that would be an understatement, he was petrified of losing his wife. He loved her so and really had no idea what had caused him to go off to another women to find "pleasure". Minerva was the answer to his dreams and he was foolish enough to think that there was someone out there that could take her place in his heart. He had tried and tried to rekindle what they once had but ever since she had walked in on him with another women things had never been the same, nor should he expect them to be. They had been fighting a lot lately and today had been the worst of them all. He had been trying to think logically why Minerva would want to join his dangerous task force but today he had finally figured it out. Dumbledore. How had he been so blind? Of course Minerva would do whatever Dumbledore asked her to do before the drop of a hat.

When they were together he had heard stories on how their love had run so deep for one another, how the other would fall apart if something where to happen to the other. Carrick had believed them all when he heard them for he had gone to school with Minerva. He was Head Boy and she was Head Girl so they had spent a lot of time together when they were in school and he had seen the way her eyes would light up with just the mention of his name. She had been his star pupil and in Minerva's seventh year usually if you found one of them you had found the other. He was shocked the day she had shown up on his door step distraught with her eyes puffy and red. His first thought had been that something had happened to Dumbledore or that she had been fired from the ministry never would he had thought that Dumbledore had caused these tears on her face. That Dumbledore had caused her to be so distraught, feeling so unloved. Carrick couldn't remember who made the first move that night but when he woke in the morning he knew that they had put themselves in a terrible position. He had told her that he would not speak a word to anyone about what they had done and that he would understand if she never wanted to see or speak to him again. He had always known what Dumbledore had meant to Minerva and he was not going to be the person to cause that joy to be taken away from her.

Minerva had other plans though. She told Carrick that there was a reason that she showed up at his doors instead of going to a hotel or going home that night. She told him that she was tired of always coming second best in Dumbledore's life and that she wanted someone who would treat her as if she was the most precious thing that was on earth even if she wasn't. When he had heard Minerva say this he knew that there was no turning back. Minerva and he had stayed close after Hogwarts and since his seventh year he had always loved her from a far. He saw this as his only chance to be with her so he took it. Looking back on it all it only makes sense that Dumbledore would steal her away from him like he did so many years ago. The irony would kill anyone.

Finally having cleared his mind and putting his temper back in check Carrick made his way to Woodstock Park. This is where they were to meet tomorrow and since it was a nice enough night Carrick would just transform the park bench into a bench to sleep on. He wanted to go home yes, but he didn't want to anger his wife any further. With this he apparated to the park.

**The Next Morning**

Minerva stirred in her bed. She could feel the hot sun coming through the window and waking her up. Not opening her eyes yet for she did not want to get up yet she rolled over and reached out for her husband's side of the bed only to find it empty. Realization dawned on Minerva when the memories had come flooding back to her of the night before. It had been a nasty fight.

Finally giving up on the idea that she could sleep any longer she found two familiars by her window sill. One was her owl Jeffery and the other was a phoenix. It was Fawkes of course waiting patiently for her to take his letter that he was to deliver to her. As soon as Minerva took the letters from the two Fawkes came by her nudged her under her chin as his sign of affection and flew off. She wondered what could be in the two letters. Minerva knew both of the senders of the letters and she was contemplating which one she wanted to open up first. Albus letter or Carrick's. She decided to go with the latter since it was her husband.

_My Love,_

_I am so deeply sorry about last night, I shall support you with whatever you choose to do and if that means you join this wrenched war so be it. As long as you do it by my side I have no complaints. I did not come home last night because I did not want to anger you further. I am at Woodstock Park. It was such a beautiful night last night that I figured I would just transform one of the park benches into a bed. It actually was pretty pleasant. Maybe one day when this war is over we can spend a night here together. I know you would love the view of the starry sky over the lake. Anyway looking forward to seeing you soon._

_All my love,_

_Carrick._

Minerva smiled; maybe she and Carrick would work out in the end. He seemed to be trying very hard to win her affections back. With this in mind she turned to the second letter from Albus.

_My dear Minerva,_

_How are you this fine morning? I myself have never been better for I get to see you today. I am writing to inform you that I have made a reservation at our old favorite restaurant outside of Littlesberg town. I have something that I wish to discuss with you and would rather do it in person than in a letter. The reservations are for 9 o' clock. If I haven't heard by you from 8 o' clock I will assume that you have declined my offer and I will see you at noon at Woodstock Park. _

_Truly,_

_Albus_

Minerva was shocked to say the least that he would want to have breakfast with her to discuss something with her hours before they were scheduled to leave. She looked at her old grandfather clock to discover that it was 7:45 and that she had just enough time to make a fire call to let him know that she would like to accept his offer. Making her way over to her fire pit she reached out for some Floo powder and called out "Dumbledore Manor"

"My dear is that you?" Albus was startled when he heard his fire pit roar to let him know that he had a fire call. He rarely ever got fire calls during the summer.

"Yes, I am calling to inform you that I accept your offer and will meet you there promptly at 9 o' clock."

"Wonderful! I will see you then my dear."

With this Minerva pulled her head from the fire and began to get ready for her day ahead. She had packed her belongings that she would need for her trip last night and boy was she thankful that she had. Now she would have enough time to get ready for her breakfast with Albus.

**xxx**

"Annile please don't give me that look."

"Why shouldn't I give you that look Albus? Hmm you are going off to have lunch with your old lover and leaving me at home. I do not like the idea of you two alone."

Albus looked deeply in her eyes and said the only thing he could think to say to her, "Trust me."

"Fine but why is it you're having breakfast with her anyway?"

"It is strictly for our trip Annile, you know all that is going on and so does Carrick and the others. I am not quite sure of what Carrick has shared with her so I need to catch her up with all that has been going on. I need to go. I will see you later. Don't be mad, just trust me that I'm a better man then you think." Albus grabbed her face in between his hands kissed her on the lips, then her forehead, both of her cheeks then her lips again. "I will miss you, but I will see you shortly." With this Albus made his leave for Littlesberg. He hated lying to Annile but he knew that was the only way he would be able to have breakfast with Minerva alone.

**9 O'Clock**

Albus walked inside the little corner café only to have his breath taken away. She was beautiful, always had been but ever since the idea of her marriage falling apart, he had entertained his mind with thoughts of maybe one day being able to call her his again. Shaking his head he scolded himself, no matter what was going on in her life she was still claimed for and as was he. Making his way over he caught her eye and in that moment when her eyes met his it seemed like the world stopped. Yes he still loved her with his whole being but he knew he could no longer act on his feelings.

"Minerva my dear it seems you look more beautiful every day I see you."

Minerva blushed, always a man of complements. She noticed as he entered that he was dressed in muggle attire, and still had his hair cut short like a muggle man and that his beard only looked 3 or 4 days old. He could look handsome with whatever type of style he chooses but she had to admit she liked this look on him. "I see you still have that beautiful twinkle in your eye. I dare say does it ever go away?"

"It will go away the day you no longer bless me with your presence."

"Albus stop your making me blush!"

"Ah my dear I believe you have forgotten that I love to make you blush. It was something that I prided myself in doing when we were together."

"I haven't forgotten, I remember everything we did together." Minerva had the look of lust in her eyes. Albus saw her eyes turn into that darker shade of green the way they always did when he and Minerva had made love his mind instantly jumped into a very intimate memory.

"My dear as much as I would love to sit and relive our old memories..." Subconsciously he pulled at the collar of his shirt. An image of Minerva naked and screaming out his name crossed his mind. Was it hot in here or was it just him. "… Very very very great old memories I have something I wish to talk about."

Minerva knew by the way he pulled at the collar of his shirt that she had triggered the memories of their long nights of passion. Yes today their conversation would be fun. "Oh I believe it can wait." With this Minerva slid her chair over and placed her hand on his leg and ever so slightly she began to stroke her hand up and down his leg.

"MinERva pleeeease." He couldn't even talk, she had his mind racing. He knew that every word he spoke would either sound like a beg or a moan, which was not good considering the very public place that they were currently in. He didn't know how much more self control he had. His skin had already began to burn and she had caused a reaction in a place she sure would notice. Damn these muggle pants he was wearing!

Minerva leaned in close and whispered in his ear. "Oh Albus I do believe that this trip could had been one to remember but alas you have your lass and I have my husband." Kissing his ear she leaned back and gathered her chair and pushed it back to where she originally had been. She looked at him as if she hadn't just been seducing him a minute ago and with a clear strong voice she said, "So what is it you wish to talk to me about?"

Albus cast a cooling charm on himself and cleared his throat. "Ah yes I just wanted to inform you that Annile will be joining us on our trip. She does not trust me alone with you and I dare say she has good reasons."

"Well that will be interesting… I am going to be spending three months with the sister of the women my husband slept with. Fantastic." Minerva's cheerful mood had disappeared when Albus had informed her that she was going to have to deal with that little slut's sister. True she had no idea how Annile was and her personality but she had a feeling that they wouldn't get along.

"Your husband slept with Makena? I had no idea Minerva I assure you I wouldn't had let her come if I had known." Damn it Albus how could you not have known that Anniles's sister had slept with Carrick. Damn it Damn it Damn it.

"No worries, let's just enjoy our breakfast before we have to join the others."

"Okay Minerva, I am so sorry though."

With this said there food arrived and the two ate in silence both to caught up in their own thoughts on how these next three months might play out. The one thing that they both hopped was that the two of them both made it out alive. They might be with different people but they both knew that if something happened to the other they would surely fall apart.

[GO ME! 2,572 words in this chapter! Thats my longest chapter yet! I hope you all enjoy it. Please review! I will not continue this fic if I recieve no reviews for I will have to assume nobody likes it! All types of reviews are apperciated! Until next time!]


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